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How Moms Can Ask for Help Without Guilt or Conflict

In last week’s Efitmi newsletter, I touched on something that struck a nerve for many of you:

“I feel completely overwhelmed… and like no one sees how much I’m holding.”

Since then, I've been seeing so many mothers on social media, echoing the same thing in different words. It’s the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix. It’s the kind of pressure that builds silently, while you’re packing school lunches, bouncing the baby at 3 a.m., keeping track of doctor’s appointments, and remembering to buy toilet paper before anyone else notices they’re out.

how to ask for help without guilt or conflict. overwhelmed mom

It’s called the invisible load of motherhood. And chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re carrying it.


What Is the Invisible Load?

It’s not just about doing tasks—it’s about constantly thinking about them.


The mental tabs that never close:

  • “We’re almost out of diapers.”

  • “Did I RSVP to the birthday party?”

  • “What’s for dinner tonight… and tomorrow?”

  • “When was the last time I did something for me?”


You are the default. The planner. The "rememberer". The one who anticipates, organizes, soothes, nurtures, schedules, and sacrifices. And when you’re the one holding everything together, it can start to feel like asking for help is just one more thing to manage.


But Here’s the Truth, Mama...

You were never meant to do this alone. You are not weak for needing support. You are human.

And it’s not selfish to ask for help—it’s smart. It protects your mental health. It strengthens your relationships. It teaches your children that care is a shared responsibility, not a one-woman job.



How to Ask for Help Without Guilt or Conflict

Many mothers have shared that they don’t even know how to ask for help anymore. They’re frustrated that partners or family members don’t see the need and step in.


Here’s how we begin to change that narrative:


1. Reframe the Ask

Instead of: “Don’t you see I need help?”

Say: “I’m really feeling overwhelmed right now—could you take over bath time tonight?”

One feels accusatory. The other invites connection and teamwork.


2. Be Specific

Vague requests get vague responses. Clear requests make it easy to say yes.

“Can you cook dinner on Thursday?”

“Could you do the grocery run this weekend?”

“I’d love a 2-hour break Saturday morning to recharge.”


3. Use “I” Statements

Replace blame with vulnerability.

Instead of: “You never help me around here.”

Say: “I’m struggling to manage everything. I need your help to feel more balanced.”


4. Stop Waiting to Be Noticed

Love doesn’t equal mind-reading.

Your needs matter—even if you have to name them out loud.


5. Remember: You Deserve Support

You’re not lazy. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing your best—and you shouldn’t have to burn out to prove it.



Come Be Part of Something Real

If you’re craving more honesty, more connection, and more support from women who truly get it—we’d love to welcome you into our private Facebook group for mothers in the Efitmi community


Inside, you’ll find:

  • Real conversations (not highlight reels)

  • Weekly mindset tools and support prompts

  • Live chats and upcoming workshops

  • A space where you get to receive, not just give


Join us here.


And if you haven’t subscribed to the Efitmi newsletter yet, you’re missing out on heartfelt insights, motherhood mindset shifts, and gentle reminders that you matter too.

Let’s stop pretending we’re fine when we’re not.

Let’s start building a motherhood journey that’s supported, balanced, and rooted in togetherness.



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