Why So Many Working Moms Feel Resentful (and What to Do About It)

I’ll be honest: I hate having to justify why I’m tired. As a working mom, the fatigue should speak for itself, but somehow, I still find myself explaining it to my partner, my kids, and even coworkers.

I grow tired of being asked these questions when I say or look tired.

"Why are you so tired?”

“Didn’t you just come back from a day off?”

“You’re home all day, what’s so hard?”

It’s questions like these that sting, not because they’re cruel, but because they reveal how invisible the work really is. It’s finished meals, the bills paid, the emails answered, the socks matched, the appointments scheduled, and the emotional support handed out on demand.

And just like that, resentment creeps in.

Because resentment doesn’t come from one big moment. It builds in the little ones. The sighs no one hears, the meals no one thanks you for, and the never-ending to-do list that only gets noticed when something slips through the cracks.

The Many Faces of Resentment

With Your Partner

Not getting enough support at home—or having to explain why you need help—feels heavy. It’s not just about who does the dishes or who puts the kids to bed; it’s about the mental load of planning, remembering, and anticipating everyone’s needs. When you finally ask for a break, instead of being offered rest, you find yourself defending why you deserve one. That constant cycle turns love into quiet resentment.

With Your Kids

Yes, we love them dearly, but let’s be honest: the constant demands can wear you down. “Mommy, I want juice?” “Mommy, I can't find my shoes?” “Mommy, read me this book.” By the end of the day, you’ve given so much of yourself that even the sweetest request can feel like the straw that breaks the camel’s back. And then, of course, comes the mom guilt, resentment mixed with shame for even feeling resentful toward the little ones you adore.

With Family

Extended family often means well, but sometimes they assume you’ll handle everything because you’re the mom. Holidays? You organize them. Birthdays? You plan them. A sick parent? You manage their appointments. And if you dare mention how stretched thin you feel, you might hear, “That’s just motherhood, we all went through it.” Those words minimize your reality and deepen the feeling that no one sees how much you’re holding together.

With Coworkers (and Work Itself)

Coworkers may not understand why you can’t stay late or why you look worn down after a night with sick kids. The truth? Professional expectations don’t pause just because your family needs you. You’re expected to perform at 100% while juggling responsibilities outside the office, and when you can’t, you risk being seen as less committed. That pressure breeds resentment—not just toward coworkers, but toward a system that was never designed with moms in mind.

With Society

Let’s be real: moms carry guilt no matter what we do. Work too much? You’re neglecting your kids. Stay home? You’re not ambitious enough. Try to balance both? You’re expected to be flawless. This impossible double standard leaves moms feeling like we’re constantly falling short—and that frustration slowly turns into resentment. Because no matter how much we give, society always seems to expect more.

What You Can Do About It

Here are some practical shifts to ease resentment and reclaim your peace:

1. Name It Out Loud

Resentment grows in silence. The more you swallow your frustration, the heavier it feels. Whether it’s with your partner, kids, boss, or extended family—say the words. Use “I feel” statements to describe what’s happening without pointing fingers.

• Example: “I feel overlooked when no one notices the work I’ve already done.”

• Example: “I feel drained when I’m the only one who keeps track of the schedule.”

  
  

Speaking it out loud not only makes your needs visible—it teaches others how to support you better.

2. Stop Justifying, Start Declaring

You don’t need to present a case file every time you need rest. Explaining why you’re tired adds another job to your list. Instead, practice making simple, confident statements.

• Instead of: “I’ve had such a long day, I was up all night with the baby, I had work deadlines, and I’m exhausted so I need to rest.”

• Say: “I’m resting now.” or “I won’t be available this evening.”

  
  

No essays. No guilt. Just facts.

3. Share Responsibility, Not Just Tasks

Delegation isn’t handing over a chore while still managing the mental part. True sharing means letting others fully own areas of responsibility.

• Example: Instead of asking your partner to “help with dinner,” let them take charge of meal planning one night a week.

• Example: Instead of telling your teen to “clean their room,” put them in charge of keeping their laundry clean and organized.

  
  

It’s not about micromanaging—it’s about freeing up your brain space.

4. Release the Guilt

Here’s the truth: resentment and guilt often travel together. You feel resentful for doing everything, then guilty for feeling resentful in the first place. Break the cycle by reminding yourself:

• Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a requirement.

• Taking a break doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you sustainable.

  
  

Your kids don’t need a “supermom.” They need a mom who can show up calm and present.

5. Find Community

Sometimes the people closest to you just won’t get it. And that’s okay. What matters is finding others who do. A community of moms—whether it’s your church, a Facebook group, or friends at school pickup—can make all the difference.

• They normalize what you’re feeling.

• They share hacks and resources you may not have thought of.

• They remind you that you’re not failing; you’re just human.

  
  

Resentment feels lighter when you know you’re not carrying it alone.

Final Thoughts

Resentment isn’t about being ungrateful. It’s about being unseen. As working moms, we don’t resent our families or our jobs; we resent the constant need to explain why we’re tired, why we need help, and why we’re human.

You don’t need to justify your exhaustion. You don’t need to defend your need for rest. You are carrying more than most people realize, and your feelings are valid.

Start by allowing yourself to rest, set boundaries, and say “no” without apology because a mom who protects her peace is a mom who thrives.

Ready to take one step toward less resentment?

• Download my FREE Printable Daily Planner in the Resource Library—so you can stop carrying it all in your head.

• Get the Lazy Mom Planner in my store—a system built with shortcuts, brain dumps, and bare-minimum lists to help you reclaim your time and energy.

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