What to Do When You Outgrow What You Once Chose

Ten years ago, I took a job that made perfect sense for my life at the time.

I was 25. Single.

Living under my parents' roof.

No kids. No house to manage.

Back then, I was excited to build my career. I had the time, the energy, and the mental space to pour into that version of life. But now — I’m married. I have children. I run a household. And some days, I sit at work feeling a quiet ache that says, I don’t think I belong here anymore.

That realization hit me hard. But even harder was the guilt that followed — for wanting something different from what I once celebrated.

Just Relax Mama!

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When the Life You Built No Longer Fits

I saw a funny reel recently that had a video of Viola Davis crying while driving with the caption, "Me on my way to the job I prayed for"

I laughed but it really hit home. I legit prayed for the job I have. It is maybe a dream job for most young Jamaicans. The earning potential is good, the benefits are great and the people I work with — awesome! So why do I feel so misaligned?

So, I did what I've been doing recently, I asked ChatGPT, What the hell is wrong with me?! And it echoed what I already knew.

“You made a commitment to something based on who you were then. But now you’re someone else. That’s why it feels misaligned.”

And that’s it.

I am not being ungrateful. I’ve just evolved.

The woman I was when I said yes to this job is not the woman I am today. My values have shifted. My priorities have changed. I’ve grown — and not everything I chose back then has grown with me.

The Guilt of Wanting More

So, what do you do when the very thing you once said yes to now feels off? You might feel ungrateful. You might question your own ambition. You might even think, “I asked for this. I chose this.”

But that doesn’t mean you have to stay loyal to something that no longer aligns. Growth means checking in with your current self — and giving her permission to want more, or different, or softer.

How I'm Navigating It

I’m not leaving my job tomorrow. I have a family. I have bills. I have a sense of responsibility. But I also have a dream — to build something of my own, something more flexible and aligned with the woman I’ve become.

I’m building a way out. One blog post at a time. One offering at a time. One moment of clarity at a time. And most importantly, I’m letting myself feel the disconnect — without shame.

Because the truth is, you don’t need to hate something in order to outgrow it. Sometimes, things served you beautifully in one season… and now it’s time to move on.

Just Relax Mama!

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What You Can Do When You Feel This Too

1. Name the misalignment

   Say it out loud: This doesn’t fit me anymore. You can’t change what you won’t name.

2. Get curious, not guilty

   Ask yourself: What do I need now? What would feel more aligned?

3. Create small shifts

   If you can’t leap, pivot. Adjust your routine, delegate where possible, carve out creative time for something new.

4. Start designing your “next”

   It doesn’t have to be perfect or fast. But taking one step toward a more aligned version of life matters.

5. Give yourself grace

   You didn’t fail. You just changed. That’s growth.

You’re Not Alone

There are so many of us who’ve quietly realized that we’ve outgrown the life we once built with pride. Whether it’s a job, a routine, a role, it’s okay to outgrow what you once chose. You don’t owe your past self a lifetime of loyalty to something that no longer fits.

Let’s Talk

Have you ever felt this too?n Are you living in a commitment that used to fit, but now feels off?

Share it with me in the comments or send a message. Let’s hold space for each other as we evolve — without guilt, without shame, and without staying stuck.