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What 100 Moms Taught Me About Self-Care, Boundaries, and Balance

When I decided to survey 100 moms about their self-care habits, I wasn’t just looking for stats—I was hoping to hear their hearts. And that’s exactly what I got. From honest confessions about guilt and exhaustion to hopeful words about change and healing, the responses painted a full picture of the emotional landscape that so many mothers live in daily.


These weren’t just numbers—they were stories. And I want to share them with you.


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We Know Self-Care Is Important—But We’re Still Not Making Time

The overwhelming majority of moms ranked self-care as very important—many gave it a 5 out of 5. Yet, most admitted they spend less than three hours per week doing anything just for themselves. Some shared they’re lucky to squeeze in even 15 minutes.


One mom put it this way:

“I struggle to find time for self-care. There’s always something more urgent, more pressing. By the time I have a moment to myself, I’m too exhausted to enjoy it.”

This speaks volumes about the emotional tug-of-war we face. We know we need self-care. We crave it. But our reality doesn’t always give us permission.


So, what do we do? We start small. We redefine what self-care looks like—not in hours at the spa, but in short moments of presence. Drinking water in silence. Sitting with a book for 10 minutes. Breathing deeply before the next task.


Mom Guilt Is Still Running the Show

When asked how often they experience mom guilt, most moms hovered between a 3 and 5. It’s ever-present, especially when they choose themselves over household tasks or their children's needs.


One response really struck me:

“Taking time for myself is the biggest trigger. Even when I know I need it, the guilt creeps in. Like I should always be doing more.”

And that guilt is often rooted in the messages we’ve been fed since childhood. Many moms shared that they’ve been taught that a “good mom” is always available, never complains, and always puts herself last. One participant reflected on this by saying:

“A perfect mom always puts her family first. That’s what I was taught. But now I’m trying to unlearn that, because I’ve learned I matter too.”

We have to begin rewriting these messages. Self-care is not selfish. Boundaries don’t make us bad moms. Rest is not laziness—it’s resilience.



Saying “No” Is Hard—But We're Learning

Only a handful of moms rated themselves as completely comfortable with saying no. For most, it’s a learned skill. A difficult one.


But there is growth happening. Several moms shared that they're becoming more intentional about saying no when something threatens their peace. One wrote:

“I’ve started scheduling dedicated ‘me time.’ I guard it like I would a meeting at work. That time is mine, and I say no to anything that tries to interrupt it.”

Another said,

“I’m finally prioritizing my needs over others. It feels uncomfortable, but also empowering.”

The lesson here? Saying no is not just a boundary—it's an act of self-respect. And the more we do it, the easier it gets.


Overcommitment Is Quietly Draining Us

The impact of overcommitment ranked high for many moms. Even those who were comfortable setting boundaries admitted they were still taking on too much.


And it’s not just about the to-do list. It’s the mental weight that comes with trying to do everything for everyone. One mom said:

“There’s always something—school, work, family stuff. I feel like I’m always running, but never catching up.”

This is a powerful reminder that slowing down isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. We must create space, not just in our homes, but in our schedules and minds.


Try this: Do a commitment audit. Look at everything you’re saying yes to and ask yourself, Does this align with the life I want to live right now? If not, maybe it’s time to let something go.


Support Makes All the Difference

One of the most uplifting takeaways was that moms who had strong support systems were much more likely to prioritize self-care and report lower stress.


And the support didn’t always come from partners—it was sisters, friends, even online communities. One mom shared:

“A mom who fills her cup up first can pour into others. That’s my vision for balance. And I’ve found support from women who understand what that really means.”

But some moms admitted they lacked that kind of support. They were doing it mostly on their own—and it showed in their stress levels and inability to set boundaries.


If this is you, please know: you don’t have to do it alone. Find your people, even if it starts online. Join our Efitmi Lifestyle Facebook Group where we hold space for each other to grow, vent, and rise.



You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Failing

If there’s one thing this survey reminded me of, it’s that every mom is out there trying—trying to be present, trying to care for herself, trying to love deeply and live fully.


And even though the numbers were powerful, it was the words that brought me to tears. When asked what advice they’d give to another mom struggling with mom guilt, one simply said:

“Your well-being matters too. You’re not just a mom—you’re a person.”

Another encouraged:

“Give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.”

Let’s Keep the Momentum Going

If this post spoke to you, don’t stop here.

  • Get the Self-Care Journal I created to help you reflect, reset, and reconnect with yourself in the small pockets of your day.

  • Join our private Facebook group for a safe space to share, learn, and laugh.

  • And don’t forget—use code SPRING25 to get 20% off all planners and journals in the Efitmi Lifestyle Shop until April 30.


Final Thoughts

There is no perfect formula for motherhood, and you won’t always get it “right.” But you are not alone in how you feel. This journey is messy, beautiful, exhausting, and sincerely worth it.


So breathe. Begin again. And remember—you matter too.

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