The Ugly Red: What No One Talks About When You're a Grown Woman on Her Period

This isn’t my usual blog post.

Me in bed with my head covered

There’s no tidy how-to list or polished intention-setting framework. Today, I’m just showing up as a woman who doesn’t have it all together. A mom who is tired. A human being in the thick of what I’ve come to call the ugly red. For a woman on her period, with kids, home, work, etc., this part of the month doesn’t get easier.

I’m writing this because I know I’m not the only one. And because I also know this: it will pass. Maybe not gracefully. Maybe not quickly. But it will.

Still, the middle of it? It’s a lot.

Real Life, Not a Reel

Yesterday, I woke up feeling off. The house was a mess. The energy in the air felt heavy. And while my husband meant well when he told me to relax, it didn’t help breakfast get made or dinner get started.

So I did what he suggested. I relaxed. I rested most of the day. But the mess? It stayed. It waited for me.

After a long bedtime battle, one that only ended when my husband gave a stern dad-style warning, I snuck away to the bathroom for just a moment of quiet. I sat on the toilet and tried to breathe.

And then I saw it — the toothpaste on the sink, the mildew in the shower, the toys on the floor. The kind of mess that doesn’t just annoy you — it taunts you.

So I started cleaning.

At 10 p.m.

I scrubbed the shower, the basin, the toilet.

Moved to the kitchen.

I was just about to start the living room when I heard my one-year-old crying.

He wasn’t looking for me, really. He was looking for my breast. He needed comfort. What I thought would take five minutes took a full hour. I fell asleep with him curled up beside me.

This morning he woke me up again. I was still exhausted. Still overwhelmed. I snapped at him. I snapped at his sister.

Then my husband walked in and asked, “What can I help you with?” And that moment — that one sentence — felt like a gut punch. Because by the time I’m drowning, I don’t need help. I need relief. I need partnership. I need to not always be the one managing the whole thing.

For Some of Us, It Doesn’t Get Easier

We’re told periods get easier. That motherhood makes us stronger. That age brings wisdom and balance.

Sometimes it does.

But sometimes, it just brings more people to take care of when your body is already falling apart from the inside out.

For me, the days before my period still bring chaos.

I cry.

I clean aggressively.

I feel invisible.

I feel everything too deeply.

And I resent the things I usually handle with grace.

Some women get to float through their cycles. Others of us drag ourselves. Neither makes us less.

This Is Me Being Human

I’m not writing this with a solution or a script. I just want to say: if you feel like this too, you’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You are holding a lot, and your body is asking you to slow down. That’s not failure. That’s honesty.

This is me showing up human. Tired. Emotional. Stretched thin. And still showing up. Because I know this will pass — and so do you. But in the meantime, let’s stop pretending it’s not happening.

Tell Me Yours

I want to hear from you. What does your “ugly red” week look like? What do you feel, what do you carry, and what do you wish someone would finally say out loud?

Drop it in the comments or message me privately. No filter required. Let’s hold space for each other in the realest way.

Because if we’re going to bleed, the least we can do is stop bleeding in silence.